brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
