I bet he comes in French.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
