Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
zippers are such a cool invention
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
