I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
