You work out of a Hotel?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
