Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
