It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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