how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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