i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
