next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
