Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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