Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Randomize
