Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
