Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
