So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
