if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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