What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize