Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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