Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just had sex bonerless
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize