you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
