Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
our cab driver is having phone sex.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
