Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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