I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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