if you like me you must not know who I am
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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