I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
