Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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