she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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