after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
