The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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