Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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