My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
