yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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