If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
