The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
