peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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