Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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