Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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