I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
