Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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