she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
