Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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