so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
