found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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