i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
