Christians are straight up FREAKS
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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