I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
