Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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