hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
