do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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