the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize