just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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