last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
