PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
