my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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