Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
