I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
