Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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