we're blogging at a bar
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
