i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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