i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
