maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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