I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
