Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize