that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
